The World of the Dying

Once individuals receive a terminal prognosis, they embark upon an unexpected new journey. Their worldview is forever changed, an amazing journey into a previously unimaginable spiritual terrain is automatically set into motion, and discoveries into the meaning of life and the essence of the self, the other, and God emerge. What the dying learn about living at the end of life is their gift to us in the midst of life.

This presentation is for:

• The newly diagnosed
• Family and friends of patients
• Healthcare Providers
• Clergy and lay caregivers
• Those interested in living better lives

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The dying speak in symbolic language, just as we in the world of the living do. Also, the dying have paranormal experiences. Before I worked hospice, I don't know if I had an opinion about angels and the dead coming back to visit. But since I have done this kind of work, I've learned that a paranormal "happening" is not something to believe in, it's something that you experience along with the patients' experience. It offers a very other dimension.

Usually the symbolic language and the paranormal experience of the dead coming back occur at the very end. It occurs at the point in the dying process that we call "actively dying," which means when the body begins to shut down. It's usually at this time that the dead come back to take the dying person home. It is not frightening. It is not frightening because the people who come back for you or for me are the people we want to come back for us. They aren't strangers. They are loved ones who have gone before. We choose who they are. They are people within our own personal context. So there are no ghosts that hang around you that don't know you. They're not hanging around you now.

But at the very end the dead come back, and it is fascinating to hear about this experience with patients. I want to tell you a story about one such visitation from the spirit world.

One of the first times I experienced this was with a woman that I went to visit in the afternoon. She met me at the door. She was a very solid person, the wife of a dying patient. She looked at me and said, "I have to tell you what happened this morning because I'm not sure I did the right thing."

So I said to her, "Well, what happened?"

Her husband's hospital bed was downstairs. Her bedroom was upstairs. She said she came down in the morning, leaned over the bed, gave her husband a good morning kiss, but "he could have spit in my face. He looked at me and said, 'You're awfully rude!'"

"So I asked him, 'What are you talking about?' He said, 'Can't you see my father is sitting over there on the sofa? You don't have the decency to say hello?'"

Not knowing about paranormal experiences, she nonetheless did a wonderful thing. She looked over at the sofa, and said to his father, who had been deceased for 20 years, "Hi, Dad."

She looked back at her husband and said, "Honey, what's your father doing here?" She doesn't ask Dad what he is doing here, she looks back at her husband and says, "What is your father doing here?"

Although this guy was a rough, gruff man, he looked up at her and said the most tender thing. He said, "He's come to take me home, but I'd rather stay here with you." So he sent his father away. But two days later, his wife told me, he died when his beloved deceased mother came back to take him home with her.

Copyright © 2002 The Brick Wall 2, Inc. No portion of this written/audio introduction may be reproduced in any form without the prior written consent of The Brick Wall 2, Inc.

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